i've had writer's inertia for a little over three weeks (since school stopped for a while). honest to goodness i actually had a lengthy post saved as draft but i never found a proper ending to it. so i've ditched that and decided to just write a new one that probably is just as lousy & pointless, but makes me happy. ethical to me yes?

so, the fact that im twenty is slowly sinking in into my consciousness and i find it pretty alarming. everytime someone tries to guess my age, im wired to say im nineteen but of course i'd catch myself and say "tweeeenty" as if the number finds it hard to manoeuvre itself out of my voicebox, past my teeth and into the atmosphere outside of my being. wonder why it's so tough though. i mean it's just a number right.

on another unrelated note, school has been interesting but annoying. it's like, the content is crammed into few hours and we're expected to absorb it like a sponge. makes my head feel heavy so much so there's no more space for additional readings. BUT, im just treating school as it comes. i hope it'll be nice to me as much as it can.

being two decades/one-fifth of a century old is kind of tough for some i reckon. i think it's the age where an individual establishes himself as someone with an identity. im not really sure who i am exactly but maybe im someone so manipulative, i manipulate even my own being. food for thought.
being in a supposedly adults environment wakes me up to the fact that hormones still rage when you're twenty and above. surprising no? and i think the need to find a partner becomes even more pressing because there's a need to reproduce within a healthy child bearing age, i mean this biologically. ironically though, i feel pretty relaxed. i don't have crazy emotional rides (yet) and im pretty stable i should say. or perhaps that's cuz bf has been really awesome. HAHA.

okay im tired.
bye.

xoxo.